We took five of our 6 3/4 children to the dentist about a week ago for their six month cleaning. Our oldest child still has not seen a dentist all year. We're trying to get her in to see our dentist during spring break but for now she has an appointment during summer break when we have her. She really needs to see a dentist because she has been complaining about her teeth for about 9 months now.
Last time we went to the dentist we had to take our 5 year old all the way to Nashville for him to have dental surgery, which went really well. The dentist is worried about his two front bottom teeth but actually suggested that they are ready for US to wiggle and pull them out at home so his adult teeth can come in. Or we can make an appointment and he will pull them. Other than that he is all good.
Also last time, our 4 year old daughter screamed and cried. They could not get ex-rays of her teeth. The most they accomplished was having her brush her own teeth with a new princess toothbrush. Nobody was allowed to see in her mouth. BUT this time we brought my husband who has always been really good at prepping the kids for doctors and she did fine. She was so proud of herself: sat through the ex-rays, laid on the table, bragged about how good she was being, let them clean her teeth, and let the dentist look at them. It was a complete 180... she even told the dentist that she is as tall as her head.
We had been to that dentist once before and explained that we are co-parenting. They treated us as one family. This last time we were treated like two families again. Actually that happened at our OB appointment yesterday. New staff and spaced out appointments are just not maintaining the one family vibe that we are always striving for. I think it is going to be something we always struggle with.
The most interesting thing happened in the waiting room where they have a whole section of toys set up. Three of our children were playing and I was watching them while my girlfriend and my husband were in the back with the other two kids. A family walked in... two parents, a grandma, and a little girl. She was probably 2 years old and she spoke Indian like her family. I got the distinct impression that neither her nor her grandmother spoke English... maybe this was just an impression. So, the grandmother brought this tiny shy little girl over to purple haired me and my three rowdy kids.
I smiled at her and her granddaughter and tried to let her know that I was friendly and non-judgmental. She smiled back and encouraged her granddaughter to go play with some of the toys. I told the kids to share. And then we both let the kids do what they were going to do. What happened next made me so proud... our 5 year old, who was playing with legos, brought her a whole bag full of legos and handed her one. Neither of them needed to say anything. Our six year old made a train on the table and let her push it. None of them even noticed she spoke another language. They were just playing with their new tiny friend. And then we had to go but that was such a beautiful moment.
I consider us so normal. We're just a family. We do nap-time and homework and struggle with how to deal with an almost teenager and struggle with how in the world to get our children to clean their room. Everyone in our relationship sleeps in one bed much like any other relationship. Cheating is sleeping with other people. OR kissing, OR touching... actually I'm a super jealous person when it comes to my relationships. We argue and resolve our problems. We eat dinner almost every night at the table together. We just live and figure out how to make life work. We take care of each other.
On that note I should mention this... I had an unhappy childhood. My dad was always there for me, he did the best he was capable of doing. It wasn't what I needed but he did and does love me. My mom was never there. She and I have struggled to find a balance in our relationship that works but I think we have found a happy place to get to know one another. I do wish she was more involved in my life and the the life of my children but I think I understand why she isn't. She would have to be here for that to really work... Or I would have to be there. Overall, my family and my extended family have everything they could for me and I'm very grateful for them because without them I wouldn't be me. I love me and being me. There are things I want to change about myself and the only way I had to explain my hatred of TV was to say how it really was FROM MY PERSPECTIVE.
Life is so much more complicated that MY perspective. Parents, people... we're all just trying to survive and thrive and we let things slide without understanding the effects. I'm sure my dad had no idea that having 24 hour access to a TV was going to have such a negative effect on me. I know my mom is just an "out of site, out of mind" kind of person. Both of those things hurt me but neither of those things were done to hurt me on purpose. Life is hard, ON EVERYONE. I'm sure my eight year old daughter hates that I'm strict with her... but I'm just trying to teach her that "no" needs to be heard and accepted every now and again. At the end of the day when she hugs me for an extra long time, I know she knows I love her. Life is just complicated.
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